A Few Things I’ve Learned About Leadership

I have failed plenty.  More times that I wish to count.  Probably because many of them are painful and many times they exposed my vulnerability.

Failure creates fear.  Fear of separation is one of the most powerful driving forces in humanity.  We are pack animals.  We need our pack.

I used to hate failing as I don’t want to think about how people will then view me.  What a crippling way to be.

I walked away from the business I helped create, name, structure and build.

It wasn’t a business.  It was everything.  Consuming every part of emotion and subordinating the other things in life to its far-reaching vision.

The grief cycle lasted a few months.  Questions.  So many questions.

Then I understood why.  I failed as a leader.

Like politics, the coronavirus and parenting, everyone has an opinion on leadership.  You can waste valuable brain cells reading all the books, blogs and self-made videos.  Some are good.  Most aren’t.

For me, it really comes down to a few simple decisions.

Is leadership who you are?  Or is leadership a choice?

Is leadership about psychology?  Or is leadership about your actions?

Whatever it is.  I have experienced enough to have a perspective.  What I’ve seen builds an even stronger perspective.

Here is what I’ve picked up along the way.  It may be wrong.  This isn’t a list for self-help – this is simply what great leaders do.

 THEY ARE PURPOSE-DRIVEN:

Leaders who are purpose-driven are likely horrible poker players.  The principles they care most about are stamped clearly on their foreheads and consistent throughout their behavior.

They are the easiest to understand.  They are the easiest to follow.  They are unwavering.  They will leave a company for it.  Stop friendships for it.  Fall in love for it.

How do you find your purpose? I believe it will be different for everyone.

 A Daily Practice:

Without a solid foundation, you can’t create a building that will reach for the sky.

I do this every day. Improve 1% (whatever that means) in each of these areas:

PHYSICAL:

Eat, Move, Sleep. If you’re in bed sick, then a purpose will do you no good.

EMOTIONAL:

Trim the toxic people (even if they are “friends” or family) and be with the people who love you and support you and you love and support.

If you are constantly angry or resentful or nervous about your relationships, your purpose will forget you.

MENTAL:

Exercise your Creativity Muscle every day. If you aren’t creative every day, the muscle will atrophy. And if you are creative every day, it will eventually become a super power.

Without that super power you will have no chance of finding a purpose and then exceeding what’s been done before. Finding your own unique voice that will make you rise above everyone else.

SPIRITUAL:

Not in a prayer sense (although it could be).  This is a feeling that you can’t control everything.

Focusing on only the things you can control, you eliminate the anxiety or regret or resentment about what you can’t.

I try to do this Daily Practice every day. Without it, there’s no way to find purpose.

Gratitude. Loyalty. Leadership.

THEY DO THE BASICS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE:

I always love it when the head coach of a professional American football team addresses the media after a “tail-whipping” defeat.

They say, “Next week, we need to get back to the basics”.  I believe that most NFL head coaches have strong leadership skills.  Well, at least some.  With that said, if the basics are so important to winning, then why in the hell did they leave them?

Whether you are an elite athlete, a CEO or a leader of any capacity – the basics work.  They always have.  They always will.

The basics will differ slightly for everyone.  And it is essential to know and acknowledge the basic behaviors required to lead for a particular role.

I would suspect they won’t drift too far from this list:

Self-Awareness (the trendy word is “mindfulness”):

This is being where your feet are.  Being present and fully attentive to those you lead as well as the factors that influence the world around you.  Symbolism.  What you do, say, decide matters.

 Active Listening:

After you have surrounded yourself with people who are supposedly more capable, intelligent, etc. than you are, you listen.  Great leaders know how to get out of their own way.

Communication:

A leader who says they see communication as a top priority actually doesn’t care about communication.  Communication is not a priority, it is a value.

Decision-Making:

This is not the speed by which decisions are made or how much fortitude it takes to make the tough ones.  This is about quality.  While the organization is busy unwinding the chaos created from the quick and difficult decisions, I’d rather be led by the 1-2 right decisions that are made every day.

You can’t skip the basics.

THEY HAVE AN EGO…ABOUT THE TEAM:

Often times leaders, especially dynamic ones, are seen to have massive levels of self-confidence which is defined by society as “egoic”.  Self-absorbing.  Self-preserving.

I would agree that some cases, this is true.  I have seen it.

However, I believe there is a distinctive difference in how great leaders use ego to create significant influence and impact.

Elite level leaders must have an ego to the degree of having unwavering confidence in their ability and confident in the work they have put in.  It is a believe they deserve to be successful because of the dedication they have placed during the unseen hours.  It is a belief in themselves.

However, that ego is tarnished if it is not brushed with high levels of humility.  Great leaders don’t believe they’ve arrived.  There is no “there”.  Just constant learning and growth.

This is a delicate balance.  Great leaders know how do this well.

They dissolve a personal ego into a Team ego.  An organizational ego.

This is taking tremendous pride in the team.  Every member of the team.  Great leaders have the team’s back – literally and figuratively.

Now the behavior is seen as an undeniable level of confidence of the team.  In this mindset, the team will win.  The team deserves to win.

HEALTH:

A sick leader is not a great leader.

A leader who is spending time with people who are not good for them is likely not a good leader.

A leader who doesn’t constantly practice the basics and creativity is likely not a good leader.

A leader who is not grateful for the abundance already in his or her life will never lead his vision into abundance. He or She won’t know how.

There’s no such thing as instant health. There’s only such thing as practice and progress.

All you have to do is check the box on progress. Progress compounds every day into enormous abundance.

Find your energy.  Find what lights you up!

You must fill your bucket before filling others.  It is hard to fulfill others with an empty cup.

LOVE:

Warren Buffett says he skips to work and that he would do the work he does for free. Maybe it’s easy for him to say that because he has $50 billion.

But I’ve gone through and read his letters from the 1950s when he was first starting out. These letters are not easy found – but you can find them.

He loved what he did when he was just starting out, with no money, working in his living room.

He took glee in finding companies that nobody else knew about. GLEE!

Don’t do something just for the money.

Money is a side effect of persistence. You persist in things you are interested in.

Explore your interests. Then persist. Then love.

Then… side effects.

You don’t have to love everything about your job or your company.  You simply have to find joy and love in what you are doing.

Lead with Love.

LEADERSHIP IS A PRACTICE:

I am reminded of a conversation an old colleague.  We talked about the disproportion between various industries and professionals.

Moreover, do they have to be so different?  Is it skill or is it mindset?

If you ask a doctor or lawyer what they do for a living they will say, “I work for a law practice, or “I practice medicine at _______ hospital”.

For these people, work is an evolving area of practice and a structure playground for continuous learning.  Every day, they practice.

Why can’t we view ourselves as being in the practice of Sales, practice of Accounting or practice of Human Resources?

Like an elite athlete, you train.  Leaders train and practice.  Leaders practice the basics, every day.  It’s nearly impossible to be pushed off the mountain when you have the strongest foundation.

When all the chips are counted, you will never reach your level of expectations, you would default to your level of training.